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Neurotic Lemon's Juicy Bitterness
Abusing Free Speech since 1981
Created on 2004-12-16 00:35:06 (#5465207), last updated 2009-11-12
202 comments received, 342 comments posted
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41 Journal Entries, 8 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 15 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Neurotic Lemon |
|---|
BioIn the beginning, God looked out upon Creation and said "Damn, this is pretty lame. I need to make it awesome". So God made all kinds of stuff, the earth, the sky, the animals, beef jerky, and internets. Yet he still could not shake the nagging feeling that his masterpiece was left unfinished.
So God left the world for a few thousand years in order to find the recipe for how to make his beloved creation truly Awesome.
Meanwhile, mankind, with all of the common sense of a bowl of oatmeal, proceeded to do everything in his power to make this world a steaming cesspool of uselessness and misery.
God returned, and upon gazing out at the healthy dump his chosen children had taken on his canvas, got understandably pissed. Having the long-sought recipe in his hands, he altered it somewhat, pouring an extra cup of spite and vengeance into the mixing bowl. He set the oven on 450 for nine months.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I came into being. I am God's awesome avatar of bitterness.
So God left the world for a few thousand years in order to find the recipe for how to make his beloved creation truly Awesome.
Meanwhile, mankind, with all of the common sense of a bowl of oatmeal, proceeded to do everything in his power to make this world a steaming cesspool of uselessness and misery.
God returned, and upon gazing out at the healthy dump his chosen children had taken on his canvas, got understandably pissed. Having the long-sought recipe in his hands, he altered it somewhat, pouring an extra cup of spite and vengeance into the mixing bowl. He set the oven on 450 for nine months.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I came into being. I am God's awesome avatar of bitterness.
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